MOTHER'S DAY

"It was clear to anyone, who observed human societies and behaviour, that Jesus was essentially a Jew" said the stand up comedian. "It's simple, he stayed with his parents till he was thirty and thinks his mother is a virgin"!! he explained. I almost thought of telling him that if that was the case, then he could well be an Indian, because most Indian's are also Mamma's boys. In fact, in most agrarian societies with a history and civilization behind them, we find this trait.

Sigmund Freud based his whole psycho analytical model on this relationship. While the Oedipus has its gender equivalent in the Electra, it is the male attachment to its long severed maternal 'umbilical cord' ,that has sparked thought and debate in art and literature. Betrand Russell had a rational argument for it, maternity was a fact and paternity a myth. Our whole moral framework was woven around it according to him. More clinical thinkers argue that biologically, the maternal support was essential for sustenance of life and hence the bond was preordained. Whatever be the case, this bonding between mother and offspring is the most debated and discussed in all forms of art and aesthetics.

In the IPL series one came across a touching commercial showing a woman rolling roti's even while she was rocking another infant to sleep. A scene typical in slums and roadside shanties that one gets to see while driving by. The lady burns her fingers as she tries to flip the roti's on the open fire. Her son, all of 8 years or so, goes and gets a cable, twists it into a handy holder/grip and gives it to his mother who used it easily to turn the roti over. The commercial ends with a voice over which says that the cable is fire proof even as the lady smiles at her son. While the product situation may be a bit contrived, the message comes through and there is a 'feel good' ambience to the commercial that should rub off on the brand. The agency was Lowe and the brand "Havells".

If one were to recall films that revolved around this relationship, the first is that of Pedro Almadovar's "All about my Mother".When showed at the Trivandrum Film Festival, it got a standing ovation. Testament to the fact, that this theme, cuts across cultures.

Somerset Maugham has written on this relationship and how it affects the subsequent relationships of the offspring. I however cannot recall too many such instances of the mother son relationships in Western Literature. It may very well be that the joint family system prevails in India more than elsewhere and the sociological norms lead to these bonds.

The Indian situation has been the fountainhead of sorts for commercial art. The Indian television industry thrives on this relationship and the conflict that arises when the offspring brings his female companion and life partner, popularly referred to as the "saas -bahu serials". In fact, the 'mother in law vs wife' conflict is something that all males go through in India with joint families still being a norm in most geographies in India. Indian wives believe that the biggest hurdle in their life is the mother in law! Movies like "Beta' hit the jackpot when this relationship was the theme. 'Ariel' used this to enter into homes with the two antagonists endorsing the brand finally "Ariel me and the sasuma, what a team". Not surprising therefore that there is only a "mothers day" and no "mother in law day"!!:) There is an exception to every rule and we have a weird commercial from Tanishq of all brands, with a commercial, where the son in law sings to his wife's mother, "badan pe sitare lapete hue" and proceeds to dance with her, while his wife in turn, chooses an elderly gentleman. Given that this is India and where 'joking and avoidance' norms still exist on how to behave in a joint family and with elders, it was almost as if the marketer had lost his marbles! Or is it that the agency uses porn that is available on the net for inspiration and has no clue about the social fabric?

Indian mythology like the Greek also have anecdotes in plenty to do with the maternal aspect in families. Krishna was brought up by his stepmother. There is a kirtana in Carnatic music which Lalgudi Jayaram plays beautifully on the violin which goes "ena tavam shaitane yashoda, ulakam ammane vilipaven/" roughly translated it says "what penance did yashoda do that the whole universe calls her mother?" Parasurama who is regarded as one of the avatars of Vishnu,was asked by his father, to kill his mother and on doing so, is asked by his father what he wants as a reward and he promptly asks to have his Mother brought back to life! Be it Karna or Duryodhana or the Pandava's a mother's request is never disregarded.

In matrilineal societies in kerala, the property passes through women and they stay in their 'tharavadu' which is their ancestral home. The husbands come visiting and the father's role is given to the maternal uncle. Vayalar a lyricist who is regarded highly has written "amme abiduthe mumbil njan aaru? daivam aru? comparing his mother to divinity.


Not surprising then, that the Indus valley civilisation records the worship of a "mother goddess".
In fact Hinduism is probably the only religion where the female form is worshipped as divine. "devi" is worshipped in "saumya" (soft, nurturing) and "raudra" (destroyer of evil) forms. Saraswathi is the Goddess of learning and Mahalakshmi is the Goddess of Wealth. In Bengal the main festival is when Durga is worshipped. Durga is the destroyer of Mahisha, a demon.

Inspite of the exalted role that women have been provided in history and that most developmental activists understand that targeting and supporting the woman in the household is the most effective route to uplifting and indigent household, there seems to precious little done to empower them politically or socially.

Surprising is the fact that, to pass a 33 % reservation for women in Parliament, there was need for a 'well orchestrated strategy' to outwits the likes of Amar Singh, to get the Bill submitted in the Rajya Sabha which is allegedly the 'Higher' house in Parliament!! It remains to be seen whether this will ever become an Act at all. This is one 'reservation' which should help the general population and for that reason, perversely, our representatives will never let it come to life!!!